How often do we with those that we are in relationships with especially when it has developed into a serious one such as an engagement talk about financial matters. Especially when one of the biggest reasons that couples divorce these days are due to financial matters.It is so important that when we are considering marrying someone that you have a talk to find out where their financial standings and priorities are, if you are on the same page. especially when it comes to bearing and raising a family. There was also a lot of great advice when it comes to leaving the nest and letting our children go. My favorite quote from is  “… Parents give their children two things:  roots to grow, and wings to fly. …” (Helping and Healing Our Families, page 328). As parents we have the great responsibility of rearing and raising children and then as they react the proper age letting them grow to learn and progress themselves. It is not an easy thing to do but it is one of the most important roles we will ever have in this life!

There were many key points in our reading this week. But one point that hit hard with me is the council given on what a couple is about to get married should do regarding their parents and how to start and gain a stronger marriage. President Kimball has an amazing quote that I want to share, "Frequently, people continue to cleave unto their mothers and their fathers, and their chums.Sometimes, mothers will not relinquish the hold they have had upon their children, and husbands as well as wives return to their mothers and fathers to obtain advice and counsel and to confide, whereas cleaving should be to the wife in most things, and all intimacies should be kept in great secrecy and privacy from others… Your married life should become independent of her folks and his folks.  You love them more than ever, you cherish their counsel, you appreciate their association, but you live your own lives, being governed by your decisions, by your own prayerful considerations after you have received the counsel from those who should give it (Spencer W. Kimball, March 1977 Ensign, pp. 4, 5)."

This week had so much advice and council on what it means to be chaste with your spouse or those who you date has been shared and given. We know the main basic way that individuals can cheat while married or dating and that is being with or kissing another person. But what about other ways we may be disloyal? What was brought up in our reading is having a friendship with someone of the opposite spouse and turning to them more than to who we are with. This was a very interesting and new concept, one that the more I read the more I believed! Even though it seems so innocent at first the problem is that it usually leads to things that may eventually end your relationship or your marriage!

Friendships are not bad but when they start becoming more important to you and more meaningful to you than the one that you have with your spouse, that is when a line has been crossed and damage has been done. Luckily we have the Lord to help and guide us and the Holy Ghost to warn us about getting in these situations, if only we listen!

In the two books that I am reading for my class there were so many incredible points and advice given through out my reading this week. What has stuck with me the most is the discussion that was given about seeing the good in our spouse. And since I am not married yet and turned this into seeing the good in my roommates and my friends and even siblings that I live by. When we think negatively of someone or we are angry and annoyed by another it is so easy to see their faults and the things that they do that we disapprove of. And from there it just gets worse and soon we cannot handle to be around that person let alone love them as we used to. H. Wallace Goddard, in his book Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, points out the the only way to beat this is to look for the positive, look for their gifts and talents and good attributes. You start to do this and you will begin to see them as you used to. You will find that you care for them again. It may sound simple but it takes a lot of work, but imagine what the pay off is. Let us all see the good in each other!

In readings that I have done this in the book, "Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage" by Wallace Goddard there is a quote from one of the chapters that I just feel in love with and have already shared with a number of people. "The Natural Man is inclined to love himself and fix others. God has asked us to do the opposite. We are to fix ourselves by repenting, and to love others." This is such a small sentence but it bring so much clarity into our lives on our actions and how we treat others as well as ourselves. We live in a world that is continually pushing us to look at what makes "us" happy and we should first look out for ourselves and then when we are satisfied and happy that is when that is taken care of then we can help other people. That is exactly how Satan wants us to be with our family's and our relationships. He wants us to think about ourselves before others and that is one of the easiest and biggest ways to disrupt the family or a marriage. Remember the first commandment. Love God and by doing so everything will fall into place when you put Him first!

I recently read a story written by, Martha Arnell called "Fishing in Alaska" it was about her experience with her husband who is a major outdoorsy guy that loves to fish and hunt. Well  her husband got an opportunity to take a trip to Alaska which is like the Disneyland of outdoors and he wanted her to go with. This was definitely not her cup of tea but she wanted to support her husband in the things that he was passionate about and loved. The story goes on and explains a few things that happened on their trip but what I want to point out or talk about is the point of supporting out spouses or even those that we love in their activities and the things that are meaningful to them. When the person that we are with has likes or activities that are different from our own it doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed to faith it just means that we both need to support the other in their hobbies whether that means being a cheerleader or join in on the activity. By doing so you are showing that they are important to you and that you are willing to invest in that relationship by giving of your time even if it is not your first choice in what you would like to be doing. Love is an action word and giving of your time for another is definitely showing that! We all need to show our love, not just say those words!

In reading the Book, "Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage" in one of the chapters a quote is shared by President Ezra Taft Benson, " when we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities. We should put God ahead of everyone else in our lives." This is a pretty profound and bold statement, but it is also one that I agree with. I don't know if we realize how often God gets put on the back burner in our lives. It is not as if we cut Him from our lives or stopped believing in Him or even being good Christians but how often do other things take priority? How often do we run out of time during the day to read scriptures, to we make the time both in the morning and at night when we go to bed to get on our knees and actually talk with our Father in Heaven? Do everyday stresses with school or work or kids or bills or friends or callings and our annoying neighbor take the space of the majority of our thoughts? It doesn't have to be some big action or choice to put God in the backseat, sometimes it just happens without us even realizing it because we are just trying to get through everyday life. But I promise when you do make the time and when you make a daily effort of remembering Him and allowing Him to be apart of your life, those challenges and those stresses that come whether we are married or single or divorced or even widowed, that peace and strength will come!

Growing up and being a part of the LDS church marriage in a topic that is constantly taught about or you find yourself in conversation about with a verity of people. Everyone has their opinions or their stories to tell. Even if you are not married there is something on this topic that you can share. But with all that information and all those opinions it is hard some times to know who is right or at least know what advice is better. In my reading on marriage this week one quote that has stuck out to me profoundly is, "Marriage is God's Finishing School." (Goddard, 2007.) This quote was a bit of an eye opener for me. I don't know if it is because of all the Disney movies that I grew up watching or the fact that Hollywood does a fantastic job of making love and marriage seem like bliss. But I did not fully understand how something so wonderful and a natural to us can be the hardest thing that we will ever do, but as I have spent some time dating I can start to see how that is true. What is important to remember though is the pay off! Yes marriage is a challenge and a struggle and can be very stressful at times but what it gives in return just does not compare.

 

Goddard, H. Wallace. Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage. Fairfax: Meridian Publishing, 2007. Print.

Same Sex Marriage and it's role on Society

This week in class I read an article that I loved and helped me to understand why the church has so boldly fought that marriage is meant to be between Woman and Man. I know that this teaching comes from God, not only is it state in The Book of Mormon, but in the Bible as well. And as a country we have lost this moral site. But the reasoning and the "Why" behind this doctrine is just as important to know I believe and that's what I want to say with you today!

This was written in Newsroom, it is the official sight for media and news for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The Article for which it came from it title, "The Divine Institute of Marriage"

How Would Same-Sex Marriage Affect Society?

The possible diminishing of religious freedom is not the only societal implication of legalizing same-sex marriage. Perhaps the most common argument that proponents of same-sex marriage make is that it is essentially harmless and will not affect the institution of traditional heterosexual marriage in any way. “It won’t affect your marriage, so why should you care?” is the common refrain. While it may be true that allowing same-sex marriage will not immediately and directly affect existing marriages, the real question is how it will affect society as a wholeover time, including the rising generation and future generations.

In addition to undermining and diluting the sacred nature of marriage, legalizing same-sex marriage brings many practical implications in the sphere of public policy that will be of concern to parents and society.[18] When a government legalizes same-sex marriage as a civil right, it will almost certainly include a wide variety of other policies to enforce this. The implications of these policies are critical to understanding the seriousness of condoning same-sex marriage.

The all-important question of public policy must be: what environment is best for the child and for the rising generation? While some same-sex couples will obtain guardianship over children, traditional marriage provides the most solid and well-established social identity for children.[19] It increases the likelihood that they will be able to form a clear gender identity, with sexuality closely linked to both love and procreation. By contrast, the legal recognition of same-sex marriage may, over time, erode the social identity, gender development, and moral character of children. No dialogue on this issue can be complete without taking into account the long-term consequences for children.

As one example of how children will be adversely affected, the establishment of same-sex marriage as a civil right will inevitably entail changes in school curricula. When the state says that same-sex marriages are equivalent to heterosexual marriages, public school administrators will feel obligated to support this claim.[20] This has already happened in many jurisdictions, where from elementary school through high school, children are taught that marriage can be defined as a legal union between two adults of any gender, that the definition of family is fluid, and in some cases that consensual sexual relations are morally neutral.[21] In addition, in many areas, schools are not required to notify parents of this curriculum or to give families the opportunity to opt out.[22] These developments are already causing clashes between the agenda of secular school systems and the right of parents to teach their children deeply held standards of morality.

Throughout history, the family has served as an essential bulwark of individual liberty. The walls of a home provide a defense against detrimental social influences and the sometimes overreaching powers of government. In the absence of abuse or neglect, government does not have the right to intervene in the rearing and moral education of children in the home. Strong, independent families are vital for political and religious freedom

Proclamation to the World

I have been trying to figure out what I would like to have as my first post on this marriage blog, having no experience myself since I am not married. Then this came to mind, The Proclamation to the Family is a fantastic source on marriage and is advice and council and yes even doctrine given on this topic. Can't go wrong with that!

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THE FAMILY

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A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

WE DECLARE the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.